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Shadow

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Somnambulant espionage, the everyday kind that goes on in houses; it went on. A shadow. They saw a shadow, the doctors did, and they took her away into the pines. The Lung Unit in the pines outside the city proper, in the pines because they have a good reputation as respiratory helpers and these historical pulmonary blooms may go, they just may go away. Look, there is mother now, on the balcony, can you see her, she is there, on the balcony! Wave, wave to mother! Every Sunday. The child then getting her own heavy machinery X-Ray, hoisted up on a bench because she is so little still, and no one spoke at all it was serious, because they had seen a shadow inside mother. A shadow was like a ghost, or when behind the Christmas tree there was a dark spot without decorations. See, little one, there she is, on the balcony, waving! Let’s wave back to mother! A Shadow. With the shadow gone, she later worked at Helios and when things were slow she would bring the little one to have he...
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Episodic Memory Hard Drive

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  One still needs to gear up to come sit on the balcony in July; I don’t recall when it was last this cold for this long in the summer. The soil is so soft and wet from the constant rain the county worker’s lawnmower leaves large trails of brown on the green, as if the entire vast lawn is suddenly striped. I was given some hard advice about you. I have always been headstrong, but the advice I got has given me pause. The worst damage from the storm was the age-old aspen ripped from the ground in one fell swoop, with the roots now exposed and an enormous chunk of soil still attached to them, with the majority of the tree now in Lake Pyhä. The sight was simultaneously devastating and magnificent. The littlest damage was my scarf leaving my hiking provisions bag unobserved as I was down there on my walk, my smoky pink silk scarf, I loved it so. A token tribute to the gods of weather, most likely also now in Lake Pyhä, since I followed loosely the bike trail, that is my hike now...
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Views

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Interiors. Out of everything wonderful life had to offer, interiors. But not just; The Hanging Rock and the pathways that are starting to loosen their grip on me. The sorcery is fading. I get out of bed and immediately almost faint. Sudden change in blood pressure, vertigo, lack of human touch, brain tumor, who knows. Cooing doves in the morning, and the sound is conspiratorial and homey. This view. The newspaper articles are about war, or cutting funding, or killings, or maga propaganda, and as if these were not enough, the science section tells me how studies have shown that women whose bodies go into early menopause tend to lose their synaptic activity in the brain sooner and more often than those whose period continue into their fifties, resulting in catastrophic cognitive problems, with Alzheimer’s looming at the darkest end of the spectrum. Also, that persistent nightmares reduce lifespan, and those who tend to have bad dreams often are bound to die sooner with 70% accura...
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Variations

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  Making the transition into poetry and self-publishing physical books, gravitating towards live performances and audio🖤 Working towards a spiritually and sexually healthier, more sensual, and exquisitely well-rounded writing life, ever working towards successfully seducing the audience as well as myself into temporary, rhapsodic withdrawal from the everyday and into the mystical, the veiled, and the passionate💋 My works are for sale where I perform and at selected boutiques and my favorite sellers. You can find some works at your online bookstore💎 Choosing and assembling selected works from this site to be collected in physical form💘 Slow, but worth the trouble to revisit all the very diverse pieces, I love them all dearly📚 This spring, you can find me at Virvatuli-klubi, Tampere, Feb. 20; at Sensual Design Fair, Turku, Mar. 22-23, I perform on both days; and at private parties mainly in the Helsinki area throughout the year - sorry, private means private🧡 Further public dat...
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The Faux-Tropical Hootenanny Solitaire Pitcher - Deep South, Deep Cuts

It is, finally, the beginning of summer. For those like me, who are working indoors all day and fantasizing being outside in the sunlight where, in this particular dark fantasy, every single other person on the planet is sunbathing as we speak and recuperating in the light from the long barren winter of the utmost discontent: this is the alcohol beverage for you. I was taking a power hike after a shift, briskly walking to the beat of my current favorite album and enjoying the gradual greening of nature and the fact that after months, one could feel sweat trickling down one’s spine instead of the freezing Northern gale blowdrying it in an instant. I was being good after neglecting my health for many months out of sheer exhaustion and lack of energy for it.  Spiriting my soul in the luminosity that is Finnish early summer, I had a wonderful idea, and, for a ceremonial ending of my solitary selfcare date, walked straight into the liquor store. For those who are new to the blog: yes, t...
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Coy Apples: To the Girls I've Loved Before

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  This is not a blogpost of me coming out of the closet. In fact, I have been so far out of the closet for as long as I can remember I’m almost completely outside the house already, but I can also say that no, I am not really a lesbian.  Or am I? I know young women and gender-fluid persons and non-binary people today like to think outside the containment of a sexual orientation – or gender nomination - box, and this is all good – this is just me talking, and this is me being, specifically, a woman about it. Despite a life-long habit of crossdressing ever since early puberty, and adopting behavior patterns traditionally reserved for the man, I have never wanted to be treated or referred to as a man, nor have I ever entertained a single moment’s desire to transition into one.  Be that as it may, I feel often that what I consider discussions worth having are not the same discussions that are actually being had, and one such notion is that of the ever-evolving spectrum of sex...
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