The Sweet and Lowdown of It

I think there are three basic things wrong with Muschietti’s It. WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS!! But I’m telling you, this does not amount to a large number of stuff. I went to see it with Swinton, another die-hard fan of the old TV movie like myself, and between the two of us, one really could not find a more eager yet skeptical audience, one that was on the one hand ready to love It to death, on the other rip it to shreds, if the adaptation sucked ass.

First of all, people, it’s okay. They did not fuck it up. Thank the lord. Andy Muschietti, the incredible cast, especially the more-than-sum-of-its-parts ensemble of the young actors, and everyone involved in the film have nothing to be ashamed of.

However, there is always something to critique, and here are our pizza-eating, white-wine-sipping conclusions:

One. The music. The creepy children’s choir has been done to death, and it was both unnecessary and boring. When they are using children’s singing in such instant suck-ass classics as Children of the Corn, some kind of distant warning bells should immediately start ringing. For some reason, they weren’t ringing in Muschietti’s head. Another point about the music was the alternating between original score and Eighties songs in scenes. The songs worked great, beautifully, and for a Stephen King book adaptation, knowing that the man himself is a music lover, I think they should have gone all the way with existing songs. The Apocalyptic Rock Fight scene never looked quite so awesome as it did now, with Anthrax blasting all the way through the action. I mean come on, this is how you remake a classic! This is how you do the original work justice, adding your own signature spin on it, without destroying the idea. The original score was premeditated, oh-so mainstream with the violins and massive passages, predictable, and I don’t know, just inferior to the stand-out gorgeousness of the scenes using existing songs.

Two. The fear factors. As we exited the movie house and were nearing the pizza place, we discussed the scare scenes at length, and couldn’t help marveling at the detailed CGI used again and again in the film. Yes, you can make stuff look horrifying and creepy and really gross, but I’m thinking someone should have rigged the mechanical shark in this piece, too, because folks, when you are showing everything, nothing will be left for the imagination, and the outcome is in fact less frightening. You already got a truly horrific and believable monster in Bill Skarsgård’s Pennywise, no CGI needed, not even for the truly disturbing thing he did with his eyes, according to rumors at least – the man is said to have done it all by himself oh sweet jesus. So why did everything else, the dead children, the various manifestations of It, need to be so accurately portrayed? Showing everything means, in the end, taking something away from the audience. This is a problem a writer never ever encounters. And good for us.

Three. The buildup, or lack thereof. Yes, the seven friends come together, then bam! They are in the Neibolt street house, or in the sewers, for the remainder of the long film. Where were the lengthy bonding scenes? I do get that if the book is a thousand and a hundred pages long, one is forced to make some harsh decisions, even if one is given the possibility to do the piece in two long movies. But still. The kids have practically one large scene together, without the big bad, to show us the audience how tightly knit they become, how they are ready to die for one another. Yes, yes, but this is the one thing that I really missed from the much-dissed Tommy Lee Wallace adaptation. The kids being kids, bonding, weaving the friendship during the summer, becoming each other’s soulmates in good and evil, for life. I understand Muschietti had wanted to include the Smokehole Ritual in this movie, since it was absent from the earlier adaptation as well, but because the producers had no idea if the film was going to tank or not, the scene was omitted for financial reasons: it would have cost too much. I for one think it’s a damn shame.

I would have thought my biggest disappointment was going to be Pennywise; Tim Curry’s performance really has no rivals. But it so was not. The newcomer didn’t even try to best Curry, and I just have to say: Bill Skarsgård, you KICKED FUCKING ASS portraying the fiend, if you’ll pardon my channeling Jack Black in High Fidelity. You really did. You made Pennywise your own, you owned it, man, och jag kan göra inget annat än gratulera dig. Really outstanding. Mesmerizing. Original. Grotesque. Surreal. Truly nightmarish stuff. And I’m thirty-nine.

I guess for us die-hard fans, there can really be no one definitive film adaptation. For me, maybe a combination of the TV movie and this one would be sort of close to the truth. But I am so proud of us; we rocked the opening weekend so hard, there really is no question now whether they will greenlight the filming of the second chapter or not.

And guess what? I am so seeing it again as soon as possible. Maybe even throw in a few more friends. So I guess I'll see you later alligator after a while crocodile at the movies!