Both Sides, Now

Let’s be rude, bigoted people. Let’s be real pricks for a while.

Let’s trust innuendo and hearsay, and never corroborate anything ourselves, or ask others to elaborate on or explain their arguments.

Let’s take stuff at face value.

Let’s interrupt, because hey, our point of view is the best one.

Let’s only take care of our own.

Let’s forget about such useless values as sense of compassion, empathy, or sense of humor.

Let’s not respect others, or hold their points of view in any esteem.

Let’s make hasty, rash decisions and jump into conclusions.

Let’s never tell our fellow men they look beautiful, or that they did good, or that we care about them.

Let's in fact be real skimpy with the praise.

Let’s not ask what the other person means, and instead hold a grudge for twenty years, always reliving the past wrong-doing.

Let’s focus on retaliation.

Let’s not forgive.

Let’s not behave ourselves at all.

Let’s hate other women and consider them our enemies.

Let’s hate all men, just in case.

Let’s make total asses out of ourselves, since everybody else is doing it, too.

Let’s first not get to the bottom of things and then make public statements concerning things we were not present to witness.

Let’s take somebody else’s work and present it as our own, or respond when asked the source that we lifted it “off the Internet.”

Let’s embarrass others and make them look like fools.

Let’s sneer at those who know less than us.

Let’s gang up on the different and make it known that they are not welcome by turning our backs on them at parties, removing the rest of the chairs from the table they are sitting at, and gossiping malevolently behind their backs. In fact, let’s not invite them to our party at all.

Let’s make it obvious that we like only those that look, dress, and act exactly like us.

Let’s not learn from our mistakes.

Let’s be unreasonable.

Let’s say violence is justified in some cases.

Let’s hide poison or razor blades inside treats and leave them in parks and woods.

Let’s not encourage or tell others to try again.

Let’s act like we have a clue when we don’t.

Let’s be very afraid. Of the future, of anything foreign or unexplained, or everyone who stands for something different.

Let’s kill the magic.

Or,

let’s find that childhood favorite tree of ours and climb it one more time. So our clothes get a little dirty.

Let’s take a good long look at ourselves in the mirror.

Let’s make a game out of how many strangers smile back on the street when we smile at them.

Let’s learn how to bake cookies.

Let’s read a children’s book. Or a few.

Let’s read a YA book. Or a few.

Let’s read a book by a writer who used to intimidate the shit out of us. We might be surprised.

Let’s pull our wool leggings all the way up and be an Eighties Winter Sports Fan.

Let’s dance, uninhibited, really giving it our all, to Thriller.

Let’s play not only with our kids, but with the grown-ups, too.

Let's take things into consideration.

Let’s tell a stranger something nice that is also true.

Let’s crouch down and really pet the dog.

Let’s underline an important passage, or mark it in some other way.

Let’s recite a monologue or a dialogue from our favorite movie from memory.

Let’s accept the help.

Let’s offer help.

Let’s take the hand.

Let’s give a hand.

Let’s invite ourselves in.

Let’s invite everyone else, too.

Let’s cut people some slack.

Let’s not be so quick to make allowances for ourselves, but try to overcome our weaknesses better.

Let’s get our lazy asses off the couch and make some Midnight Margaritas, like the wise woman suggests in her book.

Let’s really give that batter a good knead.

Let’s go to the exhibit.

Let’s find out for ourselves.

Let’s do the work.

Let’s hear both sides.

Let’s give credit.

Let’s not coast.

Let’s always keep an eye out for new music.

Let’s notice those around us.

Let's move on.

Let's write it down.

Let's compliment, early and often.

Let’s tell people we love that we love them.

Let’s shut our mouths if there is nothing nice coming out.

Let’s remember we can’t really know, so being kind is always the graceful and divine thing to do.

Let’s revisit our favorite book.

Let’s follow rivers.

Let’s practice on empathy.

Let’s pull rabbits from top hats.

Let’s be honest.

Let’s wake up.

Let’s put the phone down.

Let’s find the magic.

Let the magic rule sometimes.

Notes to self.

(Some thoughts inspired by Gavin Edwards’ The Tao of Bill Murray. Joni Mitchell is to thank for the title today. The wise woman mentioned is, this time, too, Alice Hoffman.)