Thursday Two A Novel Aftermath


How things are
The window is cracked open my bedroom window
Snow cracks under there cracking and cracks inside my tiny pockets
I am holding my breath until things are right with Alice
But they can never be right again

We have drifted too far apart, you know
Is what she says in her head so loud the streets echo with the indifference
It’s not like we are best pals or ever were
But Alice, I want to say, you lie

I crumple up in bed and let breath leave me
Exhale is so much easier than inhale in this freezing winter temperature
And wait for my baby to at least hold my hand
Because I am sad and it’s what you do

But my baby is busy and has to leave for work
I peel a tangerine and eat it
Put on a Kurt Vile record to crowd her out
Write in my journal, make a shopping list
Think of groceries and vacuuming and sing along to Snowflakes Are Dancing

Still Alice remains silent no matter how much sub-zero I force down on her
She is huddled on the bed stand, no longer friendly, but I just know
if I tore her cover to pieces
I would feel bad and still would have lost her.
“Never as good as the first time.”


Quote from Sade


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